Just a reminder

As I’ve posted before, the charity we here at ChowTown are supporting is simply called CHARITY:WATER. By clicking on the SocialVibe box in the right side column you can help us to donate through a sponsor, clean water to those who need it.

Something I may not have mentioned before is that this charity donates the clean fresh water to what is now the most needy place I can think of… HAITI. So, just a few clicks and an admittedly moderately annoying series of voting can have you helping out the people of Haiti without any money.

It’s easy.

The Worst meal in America, an unfortunate discovery.

Recently while shopping (my apologies for using the “S” word) I was -as I so often do,  looking over some books related to food and came across one called “Eat This, Not That”.  It was a book that for the most part was useless to Canadians – consisting of a collection of food swaps for popular American restaurants we don’t have. This book is also stated as being “The No-Diet Weight Loss Solution”, a shall we say questionable assertion to make. I not only noticed the headings that listed best and worst burgers, nachos, salads etc but also the same for dinners, lunches and breakfasts, the “best” of the latter being a complete and utter surprise to me that if I were to actually believe it may shake one of my long-held beliefs about healthy dining to it’s core… but, I don’t.

The authors state that the McDonald’s Egg McMuffin was the better/healthier option out of all breakfast sandwiches they painstakingly examined. I’m just going to say that if that’s the best of  what we can assume to be a bad bunch, it must be a really bad bunch in order to be true. For my part, despite being informed by such a reliable source that a grease laden egg smothered with salt and processed cheese is in fact the healthy breakfast choice of future world leaders I for one will continue to avoid Raunchy Ronnie’s and the evil dispensed within like I would a proctologist with hemorrhagic fever.

There is also a listing for the “Worst and best meals” or something like that, pointing to the most healthy/unhealthy menu items found in the exhaustive google search performed on the friday night this book was likely written. I was curious and took a look at the listing for what was said to be the worst possible meal. What they mentioned for this category, and the stated nutritional facts attached to it was in one way horrifying to me. The worst and most unhealthy meal available in the US of A is the full rack of baby back ribs at Montana’s – the very same Montana’s that has several outlets in Calgary.

Now I’ve mentioned in the past that this chain has some of the worst food I feel I’ve had the misfortune to inflict upon my already overworked digestive system(and due to coercion by others have had to suffer through on more than one occasion). I was therefore very surprised by not so much the location of the offending meal, but the main ingredient itself… pork, glorious pork was part of the worst meal I can eat. I was traumatized. I will also note that this event has sparked the recolection of formerly repressed memories involving my discovery that eating buffalo style chicken wings(especially in the quantities I have been known to consume) was akin to playing russian roulette with an AK-47. I may need additional therapy for this.

According to the authors,  this pork filled, saucy spawn of the devil that Montana’s is besetting the world with has among other unfathomably awful statistics a caloric count of over 3000. Let me put that into perspective for you my faithful reader, this dish alone has twice the calories needed to sustain life one full day for your normal healthy woman and more than 60% more than I would need to ingest as a large man. Now since approximately 1500 calories over what is needed adds one pound of lard to daddy’s already ample midsection and the demon sandwiche that is the Whopper has been flogged over & over again for being so truly awful as to pehaps cause sudden death with it’s 670 calories, this is really something else.

So just to be clear I’ll give you a real-world example. Say you’ve already exceeded your daily healthy intake of calories by the time you meet your buddies at the cookhouse(and you have), and you make the terrible mistake of ordering the full rack of ribs. By doing so you’re adding at least 2 pounds of fat to what is unfortunately and likely to be a visible to the world part of your anatomy. This by the way does not include beer, appies and dessert, three of the four food pillars of a great night of dining out with friends.

I hate finding out this sort of thing, in fact I’d rather be pecked to death by a flock of rabid Siberian budgies than learn such unlovely truths about any of the foods I feel I need in my life. While the fact that one of the authors of this little book and the awful secrets contained therein is also the person who penned such eloquent tomes as “UNCOMMON KNOWLEDGE : Hundreds of How-to Tips from Your Favorite Celebs!”, I derive little solace from this since I know deep down inside on some level it is very likely true that what could be the planets most perfect food (yeah buckwheat, I’m talking about pork here not the fetid slop at Montana’s) is in fact fatally flawed. oh well,  I can at least revel in the knowing that one of my least liked chain stores has perhaps to suffer from this revelation about one of their most popular dishes.

By the way, if you just happen to be one of the many looking to shave those hard to remove extra few pesky years from your all too long life or just want to bulk up for the next swimsuit season,  Montana’s is offering these very same ribs in a handy All You Can Eat form that is now available for everyone in all it’s meat sweat inducing glory every day in all stores across Canada.

SlowCooker Back Ribs recipe

I’ll lay it out right now for everyone to read, after all they say that admission is the first step in recovery. I am, for lack of a better term “addicted” to anything pork. That’s right, give me a juicy pork roast, some crispy bacon or a heaping pile of baby back ribs and I’m in a very happy place, a pork induced nirvana if you will.

Simply put, the pig is without a doubt far and away my favorite edible animal. Any dish that uses it is generally headed right to the top of my list in many restaurants, especially if it’s had any intimate contact with a hot grill and is bathed in some sort of sauce, chief among these being BBQ. Having said that, winter is not the best time to suffer a craving for anything grilled – and let’s face it, I can be really lazy at times (ok, many times) therefore braising or any other form of cooking that involves me being vertical for what I’ll term as a “protracted” length of time (more than say 10 minutes) is occasionally completely out of the question.  So if  by terrible chance the two of these situations unhappily converge in some sort of snowy, lethargic moment of cosmic happenstance (like they have today) and I want to indulge my desire- no, my need for pig in all its tender, porky goodness I’m going to have to improvise a little.

This recipe is made for just such desperate moments. Since we do own a slow cooker- although not my favorite method of culinary creation, I will employ it here as a means to an end, namely to provide me- and perhaps you dear reader, with yummy, tender, saucy pork for dinner with as little energy expenditure as humanly possible. This meal, while certainly not true BBQ or grilling in any way will (for the time being at least) satiate my pork fueled lust.

So enough chatting, time to get started. Here piggy, piggy…

Feeds 2-4 depending on depth of “problem”.

Ingredients:

• 2 racks (approx. 12-2 pc segments) pork back ribs, Membrane removed
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 2 tbsp liquid smoke, hickory (optional)
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 1 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 cup/can cola
• 1 bottle beer (nothing too heavy. I use Hoegaarden)
• 1 bottle BBQ sauce, sweeter is better.

Method:

1. Cut ribs into 2 bone sections and set aside.
2. In a medium bowl combine brown sugar, liquid smoke, garlic, salt and pepper.
3. One piece at a time, thoroughly coat each rib piece with mixture and place on a plate.
4. Cover ribs with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour.
5. Spray inside of slow cooker with no-stick spray.
6. Dust ribs with cayenne and layer with onion in slow-cooker.
7. Cover ribs with cola and beer being careful not to wash coating off.
8. Cook for 4 hours on high or 6 hours on low setting.
9. Remove ribs and discard fluid from cooker.
10. Place ribs back in cooker and cover with BBQ sauce, cook for an additional 1 hour on low heat.

Korean Bulgogi (Pulgogi) recipe

Bulgogi or pulgogi as it’s pronounced in it’s native tongue is the last in the trifecta of delicious and well known dishes that are served in nearly every Korean restaurant in North America.

This is a sweet and tasty dish that despite it’s name translating to english as “Fire Meat” is not a hot and spicy item. The name most likely refers to the manner in which the beef is normally cooked in Korea where it is grilled over a wood fire as opposed to the frying I use in this recipe. If you want to experience the proper way of cooking this dish then head to a Korean restaurant that has the grill in the center of the table, this is a great way to enjoy korean food and have some fun while doing it.

Ingredients:

• 3 lb thinly sliced beef  (8th of an inch thick, cut across the grain)
• 5 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 onion, peeled
• 1 Asian (nashi) pear, peeled
• ½ cup apple juice
• 1 cup soy sauce
• 3 tbsp sesame seed oil
• 3 tbsp white sugar
• 1 tbsp ginger, grated
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 1 tsp black pepper

– Most butchers will slice the beef for you if you ask, and Asian markets may have it pre-cut. If not,  do it yourself by first freezing the beef for an hour or so until stiff, then use a sharp knife to slice it against the grain. If the beef thaws or becomes too soft to slice, just put it back in the freezer to firm up.

Method:

1. Place beef slices in a large bowl and pour the apple juice over it. Using your hands, mix the juice into the beef and set aside.
2. Grate the onion and pear and combine with soy sauce and sugar – taste it, if it’s sweet enough then continue, if not add more sugar to your liking.
3. Combine the soy sauce mixture with remaining ingredients and mix well, pouring over beef and hand mixing until all slices are well coated (about 2 minutes).
4. Cover bowl, place in refrigerator and marinate for at least 3 hours (overnight is prefered).
5. Drain marinade and dispose of it, cooking beef in a large frying or sauté pan (this will not take long, watch carefully so as not to over-cook).
6. Serve with steamed rice or as a tasty addition to Jap Chae.