While this certainly is not a “restaurant” and generally I don’t review bars/pubs/etc I feel compelled to do so on this one occasion. I really wish I’d had my camera for this.
I used to really enjoy going out a couple of times per month and indulging in a heaping pile of chicken wings and a wobbly-pop or three. These days I refrain from doing so more than say once a year due to my having discovered just how bad these tasty treats are for me.
So recently I caved in and having not done the “wing thing” in more than a year I justified treating myself to a limited number, in this case only 20. (hey , that’s nothing I’ve downed 120 before)
I didn’t feel like hunting around for a place and being only a few blocks from the NE Hooters location I figured they would do in satisfying my unhealthy urges on this particular occasion (hey I’m referring to the chicken wings here, okay?).
I ordered 20 “naked” wings -hot of course- a beer and some onion rings. The waitress was nice and brought me a paper to read while I waited. My beer was brought right away as well.
When the wings came I had to take a minute to let what I saw sink in, I have never seen chicken wings that were so small in my life. I remember having this same order at this very location in the past and receiving a hot, heaping pile of big wings that covered the platter it was served on. This scattering of pigeon-esque flight appendages was a mere shadow of what I’d expected and sat one or two deep in the middle of the mostly vacant platter. Now I was hungry and while disappointed I still ate these sad little flappers and drumettes, I did have to adjust my technique however as it proved difficult to even separate the tips and bones. It was impossible to just pick one up and eat as just to get a grip on the things was very difficult since most of it was covered with my not exactly sausage-like fingers. Now you know what a “drumette” is supposed to look like right? Yeah, a smaller version of a drumstick. Well these looked more like fingers, no plump piece of meat to bite off just a slight bump of mostly skin.
If these did in fact come from chickens I can just see the farm-yard and what it looked like while these things were alive…. They probably sat in front of the x-box all day long and were the ones chosen last for dodge-ball at school. You know, the skinny nerdy guys the other chickens picked on all the time, who developed slowly and I’m guessing had no breasts to speak of.
All kidding aside this was a very expensive and pathetic serving of skin and bones covered with hot sauce. The rings were actually pretty good and while over-priced I did enjoy them. Likewise for the beer, I got the brand I wanted and it was fresh and cold but also more money than it should have been. All in for the 20 wings, rings and two beer I paid over $40 and gave a $5 tip to the waitress who did provide good service (get your mind out of the gutter).
For the nearly $50 per person it cost for this truly sad meal I can go almost anywhere in the city and dine on actual food that is well made and fills me up. I will take a little more time in deciding where to get my next wing-fix and am never going to darken the door of Hooters ever again.